Thoughts in Chaos

Mourning My Youth

2009-10-16T05:44:34Z

You know a feeling that really sucks? Wanting to cry all day but not being able to. It’s like being sick; you wish you’d just throw up already and get it over with. (And who would know that feeling better than me? -_-) The reason for this feeling today is that it’s the day before my birthday. My 20^th birthday.

You see, I’ve had this notion for as long as I can remember. It seems like all of the really interesting things happen in stories when the protagonist is between the ages of 15 and 19. So it’s been deeply embedded in me somewhere that if anything really interesting would happen in my life, it would have to be when I was a teen. That’s why I kept telling my mom when I was 5-7ish that if I were going to be stuck at one age for the rest of my life I would want to be 16. I know it’s stupid, but without fully appreciating it, that belief has been keeping a burning hope in my heart/mind my whole life that something good would happen if I could just wait until I was a teen. But now I can’t ignore that those adventures can or will never happen to me. It’s 11:40pm now; I have just ten minutes left until I move beyond the age of adventure. And nothing will happen. It really hurts, because on the same line as that belief, nothing interesting will ever happen in my life because I’ve passed the age of opportunity without any occurrences. Intellectually, I fully understand how stupid this feeling is, but I’ve had this belief for at least 15 years, and tonight I have to give it all up in an instant… Now I have to commit myself to this banal, conventional life, or else commit suicide, which I have already discovered I haven’t the courage for. I don’t want to face that moment. I really don’t. If I could choose to fall asleep now, this instant, and not wake up, I may be able to take that path, because I can’t imagine being forced to lose this one hope to escape this hateful life.

It’s rather a shame to feel this way, because I imagine if there is a sin in this world, it is to so completely hate the existence you were born into, as I so often do.

The Universe said it's all going to be okay

2009-01-29T07:09:55Z

Thursday, January 29, 2009 [12:07am]

So if you know me at all, you may know that I am not at all what you could call a religious person. I first began rejecting the Christian religion I was raised into over seven years ago.
But that doesn't mean I don't have any concept of a higher power, I don't need to go to church to see and feel 'god' around me every day. When I appreciate nature around me, and the good times I spend with friends and family, I consider that my worship.

My mind and emotions have been in a state of complete confusion the past two weeks, which has made me somewhat depressed. Some of you may have noticed me being unusually quiet or staring into space a lot... Yeah, that's me trying to work this all over in my head.

Anyway, this morning I was in a dark mood. However, when I was walking towards the Lory I saw all of the snow blowing off the roof. The snow swirling and sparkling in the sunlight all around me cheered me up immensely. Of course, in the next two hours I was right back to where I had been in my mindset.

Just around 9:20pm though, I feel like the universe was trying again to knock me out of my emo mood.
Walking to my dorm in the dark, windy night, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and turned to see a fox, not too far away.
I used to see foxes all the time at home, but while my home isn't too far away, I have to say that I never expected to see any wildlife here on campus.
We stared at each other for what seemed like a really long time, despite the cold wind, neither of us moved. In that moment, it was like my sense of whatever 'god' put it there at that point in time for me. Like the universe was saying, 'here, do you understand now? Everything is going to be okay. It will all work out'. Finally the fox turned its back and ran away, disappearing into the night.

I was so relieved and happy, I began to cry.

Not Quite Insomnia #2: Emo Poetry Reading

2008-11-12T07:03:38Z

Tuesday 11-11-08 [11:31pm]

So, it's technically too early for a "Insomnia" posting, but I'm going to call it that anyway.
It's really weird, I know I've mentioned it before but it really does seem like the only times I feel like posting on my Live Journal (my only blog) are when I'm in the mood for writing what I call my "Emo Poetry". (Which is not poetry so much as me writing/bitching about all the things I hate about myself and the events in my life.)

I'm so frustrated right now. I feel like I'm almost making friends here, but even now I cannot escape this constant feeling of loneliness. I have more people that I can go hang out now with than I did for over 9 years of my life, but not a single person I can talk to. It's so incredibly hard for me to open up to people, but I want to. I want to be able to. But I've been hurt so freaking much, even (especially) by people I have allowed myself to trust. Since coming to college, it feels like I've been simultaneously trying to 'put myself out there' and drawing inwards. So my personality is split in two. (As if it wasn't bad enough already.) I already have felt like I lost the person who I was supposed to be as a result of all the shit that happened after moving to CO all those years ago. This is not bloody helping.

And I'm already sick of what they're doing. At the very most, I've known a few of these people for 3 months. Three months, and they act as if they know me, and assume things about me that they have no right to. It's like a part of me feels like I have to become a pathological liar just to keep them on their toes, and keep them from thinking that just because they've seen how I've acted in one or two situations that they know who I am. You don't know shit about me.

I just need, really, really need someone who I can just talk to. Like, literally just sit down and talk about anything and everything, without having to worry about being judged or having what I say spread around. But how freaking hard is it to find someone like that? I can't even be completely comfortable with my cousin Margaret, who I share more with than anyone and who I have so much in common with. And I am not one of those people who could tell a complete stranger who they would never see again all about my life.

Maybe that's why I'm always so lonely, because there is absolutely no one who I can completely relax and be myself with. (If I could even remember who 'myself' is.)
If things keep going on this way, I'm afraid I'm going to relapse into the depths of what I experienced in middle school. Where when I wasn't a complete blank, I was angry and miserable. Back when I had to create alternate worlds for my mind to inhabit to a frightening degree just to keep myself alive.
Gods... no wonder I'm so weird.

Insomnia #1

2008-10-21T07:12:34Z

Tuesday, October 21, 2008 [1:10am]

I have some of the strangest thoughts and make some of my most interesting comics when I can't sleep or I'm up late.
So I've started called them my "Insomnia Series", though this will the first of this sort on my LJ.

Here's something I wrote for a profile today...:

While I am perfectly capable of being normal...
I'd rather not bother. Being eccentric is a lot more fun.
Why waste the lifetime we're certain of on every little social nuance?
So chill OUT if I say or do something that is outside of your comfort zone.
The only way I care about what you think of me is if I already care about you.

I love individuals, but hate people.
I'm a spacial, flaky libra who doesn't believe in coincidence and I know there's a reason we met. (...You know who you are.)
I'm an affectionate little bastard who desperately needs physical contact and a smile from her friends.
Don't you dare define me, don't try to box me in.
I may not know who I am yet but I sure as hell aren't going to let you decide for me.

I think that last bit came from a little tune and words I was making up after my 20th Century Fiction class one day.
All I can remember of it is:

I don’t care
what you think of me
I don’t care
what you think of me

I’m crazy and wild
sometimes I act like a child
but though I don’t always know who I am
I don’t need you to define me

I guess it sounds a little silly, but again, this is what comes of my Insomnia Series.

Shoop da Whoop, muthafucka. I AM the proverbial 'she'.
Damn. As much as I'd like to continue in this pointless vein, I should go to sleep.
Goodnight. Let's hope I dream tonight.

Writing for my Wife

2008-10-11T23:38:52Z

Saturday, October 11, 2008 [5:30pm]
(Note: this is taken straight from my personal diary for the convenience of my wife. So there will be a few topics I've already touched on in my last entry and references to things that I will not explain.)

Dear Diary,
Yeah, so for the past 7 MONTHS I’ve been putting off writing another diary entry because I was embarrassed at not having written an entry in so long, which only makes the time in which I haven’t written an entry longer. @_@ I’m sorry if that wording is a little confusing, but I’m kinda tired today. I really want to write my diary on a more regular basis, but I’m failing at that so far…
So much has been going on the past half year that this Slack Bitch Sum-Up is going to be pretty hard, but I’ll try… I’m afraid that it probably won’t all be in chronological order, but more by topic. *shrug*

-Though I haven’t typed up my diary entries from my Japan winterim trip, it was really fucking amazing. My host sister Misato wrote me a letter months ago, but I swore I wouldn’t open it until I was ready to sit down and write her back; so I have it pinned to my bulletin board, where I can see it every day… >_> It’s just like the diary entry thing, the longer I put it off, the more embarrassed I get and the longer I put it off. It’s a sad circle.
-For my senior project, I interned for Dad’s golf-buddy/psychologist friend; Peter Maves. He works with victims of such traumatic events as rape and major accidents and what not. So it would have been inappropriate to sit in on any of his client meetings, but I got to do a lot of research for him, and I think it was a really important learning experience for me. ^_^

-I graduated from high school on June 7th. It seemed like such a to-do at the time, but right now it doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

-I saw the Barenaked Ladies at the bookstore in Boulder on June 14th. That was rad.
-George Carlin, a long time beloved comedian of mine died on June 23rd. That was sad.

-My crush on Mac Kring got bigger and bigger as the year wore on (but I got over it during this summer). Anyway, on that subject, I made Mac one of my hands, and he really, really liked it. He was so excited about it; it makes me want to blush. I actually hid an invitation to prom in that hand, but I don’t think he ever saw it. I did end up dancing with him once during my senior prom though, so I guess that’s nice. *shrug* It made me really happy at the time, in any case. And he invited me to his graduation party, where I played volleyball with him, Andy Bolin, Alex Tagawa and a few other guys (that was a LOT of fun, actually!). That was the last time I saw him. ^_^ I did notice however, that he got together with some girl almost immediately after going to college. T_T I’ll admit that that pissed me off for a little bit… *sigh* Ha. It doesn’t matter. Like I said, I got over it, and I wish Mac well.

-I went whitewater rafting with Mom, Dad, Daryl, Colin and Elena for a few days in the beginning of July. That’ was actually pretty cool, though it sucked to high heaven when it hailed. T_T I also guessed (correctly!) during this trip that Elena was/is pregnant! THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT AT THE TIME!! I’M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE!!! SQUEE!!!

-I ended up accepting and have begun attending Colorado State University. It’s strange, when I was picking schools; it was SO not on the top of my list! But really, I don’t feel too bad about it now that I’m here. A lot of good things are here. (Like Ramnime, but I’ll get to that in a minute.)
I’m living on the 9th floor of the dorm tower Durward. It’s further from the classes’ buildings than most of the dorms, but I have a nice view, so I guess it ain’t too bad. ^_^ I ride my bike to class everyday. (I have to admit, the first 2 weeks of riding my bike after not riding for 9 years was a little hard!)
My roommate Francesca, I had some pretty bad vibes about her when we ‘met’ on Facebook, but I’m actually pretty glad I got paired with her. She’s a nice gal. I might even go so far as to say that we may become friends. And through her I’m meeting some neat people in our dorm that I wouldn’t know otherwise. ^_^’ She’s much more social than I am. *sigh* Unfortunately, that hasn’t changed much in college yet.
The classes I’ve been taking this first semester are Spanish (yeah… T_T), College Composition, Insects Science and Society and 20th Century Fiction. And from least favorite-to-favorite that would be the order. Spanish sucks and I LOVE my 20th Century Fiction class. So far we’ve read Milan Kundera’s The Art of the Novel and also his The Unbearable Lightness of Being and we just started Lolita. (<-- Which I had wanted to read anyway.)
Something surprising about college so far is my lack of homesickness. I really expected to feel more ‘not at home’ when I return to the dorms every night, but I really haven’t felt that. *shrug* I do miss having my friends that I have genuine trust and affection for around though. *tear* X )

-So about Ramnime… I didn’t know about this ahead of time, but it is the largest anime club in Colorado and one of the larger ones in the west, and it’s centered right here! There are over 100 members, and they’re all so nice! (Well, not all, but all the ones I associate with… hahaha) We meet every Thursday night and watch anime. This semester we’re watching Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagan, Black Cat, Chevalier and the Tsubasa Chronicles. (I didn’t expect to, but I think Gurren Lagan is really great!) I even got a ride with an upperclassmen member of the club named Scott and his wife Ana to Nan Desu Kan 2008 (will go into greater detail later) and he (Scott) has been something of my patron upperclassmen ever since, as well as something of a friend. ^_^ I’m meeting so many interesting people through this club. (Like Scott, Ana, Kumar, Ryan, Rachel, Evan, Laura, Andi, Cody and so many others. ^_^)

-On NDK 2008, it was great. Like I said, I got a ride there and back from an upperclassman named Scott and his wife Ana (he’s 35 now, don’t ask) to Denver where I met Julianna. It was quite the event this year! We didn’t do much Friday night, truth be told, but on Saturday and Sunday a lot of things happened. (Even though the anime dating game was cancelled this year. T_T) On Saturday Julianna and I cosplayed as Gawl and Masami again, because Vic Mignogna (the english voice actor for Gawl) was there and we got his autograph!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!! People online are always going on about how personable he is and I didn’t believe it, but he really is! He recognized our cosplays and got really excited. <3 <3 <3 It was really, really cool. Let’s see… On Sunday Julianna wore the Lucretia (from FFVII) costume I made her and I wore the red and white yukata I bought… Really, besides getting some voice actors’ autographs and the Ouran Host Club talk, nothing really sticks out in my mind about this year’s NDK… @_@ Well, this year they had all new staff who didn’t really seem to know what they were doing so everything was kind of hectic… I guess I’ll write more about NDK later if it occurs to me…

-I got a chance to go to Denver and see Avenue Q. Very cool. Now I just need to see Spamalot. ^_^

-Now I want to talk a little about the people I’m hanging out with:
Francesca: My roommate. She’s pretty neat, especially compared to what I was expecting. ^_^’ She’s very social and likes music.
Brianna: I met her during orientation weekend, she’s an anime fan too, and she’s rather nice, though I haven’t been able to see her recently…
Jeremy: I met him through Brianna, also an otaku and from New Orleans, he attends Ramnime almost every week.
Alan: I noticed him during orientation and had a 5-minute crush on him. He lives on our floor and he’s friends with Francesca so I end up hanging out with him every now and then. He’s a nice, weird guy.
Kristen: Another friend of Francesca’s who I like. An unusual girl who is too nice for her roommate.
Scott and Ana: I put these two together because they’re married, and they’re always together anyway. I met Scott on the Ramnime forums when I was looking for a ride to NDK. Scott offered me a ride and I’ve been hanging out with the two of them ever since. They’re both so. incredibly. nice to me. I’ve been going to eat with them and watching movies with them on a regular basis and I get to hang out with a lot of people through them. Ana reminds me of Kayla a little in that she has TERRIBLE luck with her health, but she is such a sweetheart. I have even begun to play a Dungeons and Dragons type game that Scott hosting on Tuesday nights. ^_^ It’s so fun I can’t even explain it. (I’m playing as a half-elf thief.) HAHAHAH I’M BECOMING EVEN DORKIER!!!
Ryan: A junior I’ve met in Ramnime, he also plays DnD with us on Tuesdays. I’m afraid I’ve got something of a crush on him. It’s a little odd because (physically at least) he isn’t AT ALL what I would consider ‘my type’, but I’m attracted to him anyway. I think it’s because he’s really funny and energetic. It doesn’t really matter though, because he’s the kind of person that it’s much more important to me to be friends with. ^_^ (If you know me, I realize this sounds like BS, but I’m serious. I don’t plan to act on this at all.)
Cody: Yet another Ramnime and DnD person. (I have very few friends yet that aren’t involved with Ramnime.) He’s an upperclassman who reminds me of Victor from Dawson a little. Tall, lanky and kind of a techie. ^_^ he’s also pretty funny, as I’ve found on the forums.
Laura: Ramnime chica a year older than me who I am quickly developing a friendly affection for. I intuitively feel that we are similar on an emotional and mental level. *shrug* But I may be wrong.
Kumar: A Ramnime officer who I haven’t been able to interact with a lot yet, but I get the feeling that I should.
I can’t think of anyone else to write about right now… ^_^

I feel like there is so much more I should be writing about, but suddenly my mind has gone blank. And I have two tests next week to prepare for (Le GASP!) so I guess I should try working on that some rather than continuing what has already won the award for the longest diary entry I have ever written. ^_^’

I guess then it's ciao for now, luvs. Think of me when you have a misty day.
~SM

I Guess I Just Feel Like Writing.

2008-09-19T06:54:41Z

Friday, September 19th, 2008 [12:48am]

I haven't even written a real diary entry since March (that's half a year). I don't know why I decided to come on here. I guess I just feel like writing, and it's not important what I write or where.
So I'll just write then... anything and everything that comes to mind...

-I'm not a loner. I like people, and despite agreeing with my last journal (private), I don't hate myself all the time. (Ha. It figures that the only time I seem to feel like writing in my live journal is when I'm vaguely depressed. LOL, SO EMO. ;-P) So why is it that I seem to be alone all the time? I really, really don't like being alone so often.
But you know... so often... it's not even when I'm closed up in my room that I feel the loneliest. I think, that probably the times that I feel the most lonely is times like this: I'm out doing something, and I see two or more of my friends hanging out together. At times like those, I can't even bring myself to say 'hi'. Or when I'm somewhere with some friends, and they make plans right in front of me to hang out together, but leave me out. I know they don't mean anything harsh by it, but at that moment, I feel as if I am truly invisible, and without a voice.
It's bad enough that I know that when a friend and I are hanging out together, just two of us, it's usually just because the person they really wanted to be with wasn't available. I am the eternal second fiddle.
I'm not so much a loner as just alone.

-So I started to watch this anime "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumia" recently. And I told the person who recommended it to me that I really related to Haruhi.
He immediately blew me off and told me I was wrong.
...Excuse me? I didn't even say *WHY* I related to her. I've known you for a month, and we've talked fewer than 10 times. What the hell makes you think that you know me enough to make that judgment, even if I do relate to her on what you thought I was referring to? I wanted to hit him when he blew me off like that. I really did.
I fucking hate it when people judge me, especially when they have no basis on which to do so.

-Hey, is it weird that the first person that I get a mini-crush on here is a junior who has the same first name as Souva? :-/ It kinda feels really, really weird. It's like some kind of four-year-old deja vu.
Speaking of crushes, I got pissed as hell for a day when I saw that Mac got a girlfriend the instant he got off to college. I guess I'm over it now though. *shrug* Good for him. I wish the dumbass well. : ) I really do.

-Hmmm... I need to write something more cheerful... Well, I joined this club called Ramnime. It's the largest anime club in my state and one of the larger ones in this area of the country.
It's also really rad. ^_^
Julianna, I and several members of Ramnime all went to NDK this past weekend, and as always it was really great. I got myself a Domo-kun plushie, a yukata, saw a dubbed preview of Ouran Host Club and got Vic Mignogna's (voice actor of Gawl as well as numerous others) autograph (and recognition of my Generator Gawl costumes!!! <3). I was disappointed that the anime dating game wasn't there this year, though. But overall it was great, as usual. (Deja vu sentence... T_T)

-My roommate's a lot better than I was expecting. She (naturally) has a few annoying habits like reading aloud when she studies and playing her music FAR too loud, but overall I reckon they're faults I know how to deal with. T_T I am rather annoyed that the guy I was checking out at preview seems to dig on her though... >_>
LOL, IT DOESN'T MATTER. :D

-You know, it's really retarded, but I rather like being in a school where I actually see guys I find attractive around. : ) (RARELY happened ever before. I mean, gawd, I've only seen a guy (in person) that I thought was really, really hott was that one Jamba Juice guy! ...*nosebleed*) Too bad the odds of me actually speaking to any of said persons is somewhat low, huh?

Well, I kinda want to keep writing, but I really need to do some spanish homework and go to sleep. It's almost 1am already...

Ja ne and ciao for now.
And, don't worry. I'm not actually suicidal. ^_^
~Soulmage

I'm Not Big On This Whole Blogging Thing... ^_^'

2007-11-24T02:24:54Z

11-23-07 [7:18pm]

Yeah... so I haven't posted one of these since August... ^_^' I guess I shouldn't be suprised, I can't even keep up with my actual diary...
Because so much has happened in that time, I'm going to post one of my (soon to be) infamous Slack-Bitch Sumups! <3 (ie: I'm just gonna tell ya'll the stuff that has made the biggest impression on me. :D)

-My oldest brother (he's in his 30s) has moved in with us to help us with our move. (That's what we say anyway. In actuality it's because he's having some kind of post 20's crisis... T_T)

-the class trip I mentioned in my last post pretty much sucked as expected. >_<

-OMG, we passed the day that Koji, Gawl and Ryo (from my fav anime Generator Gawl) arrive in our time. (8-2-07)

-A small crush I had in my Sophomore year has resurfaced with a vengance... >_> ^_^
Although he's probably gay. Just like all the other crushes I've had during my life at Dawson... >_>

-Some kid put a paper on our free speech wall saying "IMPEACH BJ" (<-our 'headmaster') and though it was immediately taken down, it makes me happy just thinking about it.

-I managed to finish the Gawl and Masami cosplay costumes I made for my friend and I in time for Nan Desu Kan. (<-an anime convention I've attended the past 3 years.) I took two other friends and we all had a great time! 3 or 4 people even recognized which anime we were from! <3 (I wasn't expecting any because it's a pretty obscure anime.)

-What the hell, I (for reasons I still don't understand...) read the first chapter of Yu Watase's new BL/Yaoi manga, Sakura Gari. 0_o

-A friend has been helping me buy Generator Gawl stuff from Japan and get it here. I've bought the actual manga of the series (I can't read it because it's written in Japanese but I know the story well enough to decipher the pictures.) and she's just ordered some doujinshi (fancomics) and a book of original art for me. <3 (lol, now that I've realized that I've finally been absorbed into the B0R- I mean fangirls, I might as well embrace it and get the f-ing merchandise. ^_^')

-We did our fall performances in theater, which went well considering how 'out there' the pieces are. And though it broke my heart, upon seeing the cast list for the Winter musical, I quit. I love theater more than just about anything (especially at my school) but after all the work I've put into it, not even getting a speaking role is such an insult (I'm a better actress and singer than... I dunno, at least 80% of Dawsonites) and I won't just sit in the choir for the next 3 months. >_< (Sorry, I'm still angry at our director.)

-I've been posting all of my art on Deviantart.com (I'm Misachi-chan there) and I'm finally getting to the stuff I'm not ashamed of! ^_^'

-I'm (finally) sending out all of my college applications and I'll be done by Wednesday. (Thank god!)

-I was going to see my best friend and cousin today (who I only see once or twice a year), but the snow prevented me. T_T *cries* I'm sorry DM!

I guess overall, all I can say is that life goes on. *nods* Yes it does.
~Soulmage

I Have a Face, But Not For Long...

2007-08-27T05:15:43Z

Sunday [10:54pm]

The next hour is effectively my last hour of summer vacation.
...man that sucks. Especially as we're starting our class trips... and I hate my group.
Okay, I don't hate them, I just really don't want to deal with them because my school made the brilliant decision that they should break up the groups of friends for this trip and stick us with people we don't hang out with.
How I figure it is, this is our last year to be able to see our friends on a regular basis, and for many of them the last time ever. So why can't we be with these people whose company we'll actually miss? The way I see it, if I haven't made friends with these kids (It's a small school. You know EVERYONE.) in the past 3+ years, one week being forced into a stressful position with them is not going to change that.
That and we're backpacking. Basically, it's really gonna suck. T_T My feelings on the trip are very well summed up with this:

Whoops! Not that one! This one!

Anyway, excuse my excessive anger. It's been a looonngg day. First I was forced to get up and go to church by my mother. T_T Always an angering experience. Then I've spent the rest of the day making my apple butter. I FINALLY finished it! I need to give a jar to the wife, Dude, and her mother along with the recipe because they were nice enough to let me pick about 20lbs of crab apples out of their backyard. : D I think they'll like it. It's nice and tart but sweet too. (It rocks on bisquick biscuits for breakfast.) (<- alliteration? : D) and also my Dad has been on my back for ages about college crap. >_< I grrr at his being annoying.

So it's 11am already and I haven't gotten my gear together yet for the trip and registration. *sigh* I guess I'd better go do that. *dies*

Is This Really My First Blog?

2007-08-20T05:48:47Z

Sunday 8-19-07 [11:00pm]

Soooo... I guess this is my first real Blog, assuming I got the net terminology right...

Okay, I guess I'll just do a Slack Bitch Sum-Up of my summer for ya'll. (<- I'm originally Southern, I get to say "ya'll", "ain't" and "reckon".)

-I'm moving sometime this year, so I've been doing a lot of work helping to get our houses ready for the switch.

-My eldest brother Daryl (30-something) has moved in with us for a while to get his act together and also to help us with the houses.

-I took a 3-week trip to Italy with my Mom and Dad which was awesome. (Note: best ice cream: Rome. Best hotel: Asolo. Best Swim: Vernatza. Best Musical Performance: Venice. Best Ikkemen (<-means 'hottie'): Vernatza. Best Place for Souviners: Venice. Best Museums: Florence. Best Random Area to Hang Out: Milan)

-I also took a week long trip to Brownsville, Texas to visit my grandmother and youngest older brother. For once, I was able to hang out with Sivart for long periods without wanting to seriously hurt him. (<-Which would be impossible for me since he's a 2nd degree black belt.)

-I'm making costumes for my little-big-sis Julie and myself for the Nan Desu Anime Convention this October. Julie will be going as Masami from Generator Gawl and I'll be going as Gawl from the same series. I just finished making Masami's bizzare headgear this evening. : D Gawd, this is gonna be the coolest EVER!!! <3

-I'm starting school this Friday. (more or less.) Boy is it gonna suck spending another year at the Pricey school for Pretentious Preps. (PPP) Gag... and I have physics 1st period all year... *dies*

-However, auditions for the fall play (A Midsummer's Night Dream/Rock. <-Gag again) start tomorrow! : D I have to admit I'm pretty happy about that. I <3 theater.

-My wife and I got to hang out yesterday afternoon and a tiddle this morning, and that was good. Except for the Yatta thing... That was just freaking weird... I know she hates it when she gets gifts, but I really enjoyed getting her that mask from Venice for her Birthday gift. : )
My wife has been having issues lately, so I hope I can be a bit of moral support for her. Even though she has been neglecting her motherly duties to Cindy... XD (OMG, the Gene Machine has made the best long-lasting joke ever.)
In all seriousness, I am so glad. It seems like we've really become friends for real this past year. I think she finally has a degree of trust for me, like I do for her. (You see, I don't believe there can be true friendship without mutual trust.)

*cough cough* Well, I'm gettting sentimental, so I guess I'll end on that... X)

~The Almighty Soulmage of The VOID